Jersey Shore Characters Dumbed By MTV

In news that could invoke a nationwide sigh of relief sufficient to cause a tsunami, MTV has confirmed ‘Snooki,’ ‘JWoww,’ and the rest of the Jersey Shore characters are on their last season and will now be replaced by a less costly cast.

“After this group comes back from Italy and shoots season 5 this summer, that will be the end for them,” an MTV source tells Us.

MTV’s key motive for this long-stalled relief seems to be cost as four of the Jersey Shore characters – ‘Snooki; ‘JWoww,’ ‘The Situation’ and ‘Pauly D’ — each landed contracts worth $100,000 a show for season four and the snitch says the new cast will “be a lot cheaper.”

In a predictable move to gain more free press, MTV are now denying these plans.

Now the bad news: Some of the existing cast have spin-offs in the works: Snooki, JWoww and PaulyD already signed deals and are expected to return to our screens before long.

“The concept of our show is pretty much me and Jenni finding a house, living together and just being me and Jenni,” 23-year old ‘Snooki’ told reporters recently. “We’re so funny together and we like to be silly. It’s kind of like Paris and Nicole, but 20 times better – and tan.”

Shooting for season five begins in New Jersey’s Seaside Heights on Monday and salaries for this outing are already fixed. All that remains is to learn what mindlessly incessant, teeth-gritting catch-phrases the new Jersey Shore characters can come up with…