Jersey Shore’s Snooki bows boyfriend, cast may be sued

[HMG] – MTV’s endless self-serving drumbeating about Jersey Shore reaches a new level today with the news that Snooki, one of the two-legged spores who comprise the show’s cast has a boyfriend.

The ‘guido’ in question is Emilio Antonio, and both Snooki and MTV’s hype machine are deeply in love with the guy.

“He’s a bodybuilder and works at the gym,” she told Radar. “He is just like my typical guido — a juicehead with a good personality.”

And you can bet this [alleged] connection will now become MTV’s latest bait to hook more viewers for the brainless vaudeville this show represents.

“I am really excited to like show the public who he is,” Snooki continues. “He’s banging. We’re the sexiest couple I’ve ever seen, so I’m excited for everybody to see that,” the 21-year old gushed.

First she tried to hook up with Mike Sorrentino, then it was a sex tape, then ‘nude self-portraits’ — None of which ever emerged. The odds that this is yet another stunt to build ratings are therefore depressingly large.

On the upside, MTV may finally be getting as tired of these half-wits as we are — The cast have been charging up to $7500 a night for personal appearances – despite signing contracts worth $180,000 each for next season. And their bosses now want that to stop.

They’ve ordered the cast to limit their appearances at bars and clubs or face heavy fines; Perhaps even a lawsuit.

As you might expect from a group whose total IQ would resemble a shoe size, most are ignoring these orders and cashing in before their ‘fame’ flames out and they have to work for a living.

“MTV has said they can only do two appearances a week, and that all gigs must be approved,”says a source. “They’ve threatened the cast will be fined if they flout the rules — but some don’t care and are earning as much as they can.”

An MTV source says the network is merely concerned the ‘brand’ could be tarnished if the cast go on “pimping themselves”

“We have to put controls in place to protect the brand – we don’t want these kids at every bar in the country,” they said. “They have to get permission prior to doing an appearance — we don’t want one of them in a topless bar. Pauly D’s fan-base is about 85% women, aged between 12 and 21 – We have to protect that.”

Yes, and all the money they can make from that group.

And Michael Schweiger, the agent who reps all the cast except Snooki, seems to agree; “It’s a hell of a ride right now. Rather than let it run out of control, there have to be rules put in place.”

Okay, Rule #1 – No-one whose fingers and toes outnumber their brain-cells can be on TV. Let’s start with that…