Anne Hathaway achieves curious Harvard award

[HMG] – Most award shows are boring, black-tie affairs with long speeches, dull clips and far too much music. Anne Hathaway, however, had a quite different night.

The 27-year old actress was chosen as ‘Woman of the Year’ by the ‘Hasty Pudding Theatricals’ who gather at Harvard, and the result was an evening of color and cross-dressing capers you won’t find at the Oscars.

Beginning with a 30-minute parade through Boston’s snow-sprinkled streets, Anne arrived at Harvard’s ‘New College Theater’ for a roast she may never forget;

Led by the Pudding club’s pooh-bahs, Clifford Murray and Derek Mueller, Anne was soon the focus of countless jokes and good-natured prods at her films and her Hollywood ego, delivered by the likes of Julie Andrews, Liza Minnelli and Meryl Streep (in full ‘Prada” regalia, natch!) — All played by a garishly-overdressed, all-male cast.

Also in attendance was Puff-Daddy, the Magic Dragon, whom Anne had to ‘slay’ with a sword.

Her role as Lureen Newsome in 2005′s ‘Brokeback Mountain,’ then gave the cast ample fodder for groan-making jokes about cowboys, plus one about how she’s “The second most famous Anne to keep a diary.”

But Anne defended herself with laudable flair, deploying unforeseen skills at arm-wrestling, sword-fighting and as a quite passable singer – bursting into a verse or two from ‘My Favorite Things’…watched by the hairy Ms. Andrews.

Once the jesting was over Anne accepted the large, brass award, joining past victims such as Katharine Hepburn, Lauren Bacall and the real Meryl Streep. She then read a self-penned speech of acceptance…in rhyming couplets;

“I feel warm and gooey inside,” she declared, “Joyous with my reddened backside, that your roast smacked upside. My rump is quite swollen with pride.”

At a brief press conference Anne told Boston and other reporters she felt ‘lovingly skewered’ and ‘surprisingly touched’ by the entire experience, but now expects no trouble when her children are grown and apply to join Harvard.

Next in the cross-hairs is Justin Timberlake, who is due to be ‘honored’ as Hasty’s ‘Man of the Year’ on February 5th.