Fred Phelps declares Lady Gaga ‘a slut’

[HMG] – Having already outed himself as a hater of those who are Jewish or even vaguely tempted to become homosexual, Kansas-based pastor, Fred Phelps now returns to his favorite hiding place behind a large bible to launch a new and equally baseless tirade against Lady GaGa.

As leader of the ‘Westboro Baptist Church,’ whose minute congregation seems to consist of his immediate family, the fame-loving Pastor [best known for noisily picketing the funerals of Marines who were killed in Iraq,] now plans to picket Lady Gaga’s show in  St. Louis – branding the ‘Poker Face’ singer a “hussy” for her crime of ‘seducing’ young minds;

“There’s nothing new or different about this hussy’s pretentious prancing,” his press statement reads. “Does the simple slut truly think she can change God’s standards by seducing a generation into joining her in rebellion against Him?…Get real! She hates you!” reads the rambling release.

What ‘Reverend’ Phelps and his minions clearly lack to IQ to perceive is that both this tasteless tirade and the protest it announces will not only make them look even dumber in the eyes of the nation than they already do, but will give Lady Gaga a degree of publicity she could not even hope to afford.

…Thus making she who is the focus of this drool-speckled tantrum even greater than he’s already upset she now is!

St. Louis Mayor, Francis Slay, however, is an oasis of sanity; While the Mayor respects Westboro’s right to protest the gig, he is not at all worried about the impact such a small crowd will have;

“I hope her fans have fun and spend lots of money here,” Mayor Slay told the Huff Post. “Other than that, there’s ‘Nothing Else I Can Say…Eh Eh?,” which Lady G’s fans will recognize as a nod to the Lady herself.

Just in case you’re in town and keen to drop by, the protest is planned for January 7th at 6.30pm, at the Fox Theatre on Grand Boulevard, in beautiful St. Louis, Missouri…