Kirsten Dunst confuses NYC court with odd ways

In yet further proof that most Hollywood ‘stars’ are intellectually bankrupt without decent writers, Kirsten Dunst’s performance in court yesterday has made some people question her sanity…at least.

The 27-year old actress flounced into the crowded, Manhattan courtroom and spent about half-an-hour delivering testimony that was more like a ‘Valley Girl’ script. Wearing a black blouse, too-tight black pants and yes, black stilettos she greeted the Judge with a brisk, ‘How ya’ doin’?’ before even parking her slacks in the chair.

The New York Post reports that her role was to help prosecutors further their case against a Brooklyn car mechanic who now stands accused of stealing her handbag in 2007. For thirty straight minutes, the former child model delivered barely helpful replies to counsel’s questions, each liberally seasoned with those tired, 80′s mantras, “Like, okay?” and ‘Yah!’ and countless uses of “Like” on its own.

Between all this mental distraction, Kirsten confirmed that she had returned to her penthouse suite at New York’s ‘Soho Grand’ in 2007 to find her $2,000 Balenciaga purse was gone, “We realized — yeah! — somebody had, like,…taken it,” the ac tress told Jurors.

Kirsten and her and co-star, Simon Pegg were using the $3,500-a-night suite as their green room while they filmed “How to Lose Friends & Alienate People” in the hotel’s own lobby, and on nearby West Broadway.

Asked how many times she’d been in the room on that night, Kirsten almost counted her fingers, “Like, it could have been five times, I can’t really remember,” she laughed. “The sun was setting. I mean, rising!”…more giggling…”Excuse me!”

Kirsten lost the handbag, her driver’s license, credit cards and $2,000 in cash. Pegg, meanwhile, lost a cellphone, his iPod and a digital camera. The alleged perpetrator, James Jimenez – a mechanic and convicted shoplifter – has been linked to the crime by DNA tests. He was also captured on CC-TV leaving the hotel with a woman’s handbag.

The good news is, Kirsten got the bag back — it was left in a mailbox, stripped of the cash. The defendant and his crack-dealing accomplice tried a plea-deal last  year, but the case proceeded due to their long list of past crimes.

Despite all her mirth-laden breakdowns, Kirsten did manage to help her own case; She confirmed to the Jury that the two accused did not have permission to enter her room, or handle her bag. The case is therefore ongoing and we’ll keep you informed…