Tab Insanity: Britney Doesn’t Like Guys?

In which we run down the latest tabloid rumors.

US WEEKLY

Revenge diets I understand (although honestly, did Kate Bosworth really have to lose any weight? Girl’s a stick figure!) but did Jessica Simpson really get a “new face”?
Implausibility rating: Ridiculous! It’s a scary face, but it’s definitely Jessica’s own, over-tanned and all.

LIFE & STYLE

**Not sure if this is this week’s cover, but…**
TomKat is fighting behind closed doors, but this week Katie Holmes allegedly stood up for herself. Was it a long time coming?
Implausibility rating: I want to believe! I think Katie could take her man, she’s definitely taller than him. And who can forget how silent she was while Tom was doing all his couch-jumping? Maybe Katie will see this cover and decide to stand up for herself.

IN TOUCH WEEKLY
Today Perez Hilton posted an In Touch cover claiming Britney is a lesbian.
Implausibility rating: Yeah, right! Why would we believe anything Kevin Federline‘s friends tell the tabs? They’re probably just trying to sabotage her custody case. Plus, Perez loves “outing” people, so he would be all over this even if it weren’t true at all.